ultra-violet convulsions to distort from contorted words
empty syllables for a veil to preserve or blackened eyes
frantically we tear at the walls to find the radiance they've promised us
in the chaos we collapse and blame ourselves for the shadows
false promises amass too high, their strength staggers in decay
when the veil becomes transparent
minds will coalesce in a collective eye
and with our eyes now open
we can destroy these walls that bind
inside this dimension words lose definition
and we're lost in a labyrinth of syllables
i can see them coating over skin
painted by bloodied tongues turned black
they resound the banter formed for the weak
they thrive on its vacant sedation
filling hollow lives with empty delusions
of a world we'll never see
sing me words of another world
to bleed reality from my eyes

Breaking Point
bruised and calloused, left for dead but still holding onto the silhouette of a perfect smile. dragging my heels in the perfection I can't be a part of. looking to the eyes to see the future I wish would come. the past I know is fantasy, the way I need it to have been. forcing my memories to conform to my weakness. looking into her eyes the beauty consumes me, but infinite hunger still devours my mind. as I'm left with nothing to believe, I fall endlessly from grace. all I am is empty, and the cause is the look on her face. I look to her to find what I wish existed in me. again paralyzed by the dark. alone for eternity. my infatuation can never release me.
absorb her warmth and let it fade. return to the cold alone and with strength. dissolve this weakness and return to the place where you have control of this mind. forget all those things that now mean nothing, don't let those lies cause you this pain. exist in this moment, it's all that you have. find purpose in this life that drains. breaking this silence by breaking this smile. break away this memory. of an illusioned time. the time that seemed flawless is smothered with imperfection. try again to deny but always it returns. striving to forget yet the memory lingers. still inside this mind with no way to release it. force out this vision, let these eyes go blind. broken and discarded. i've died. forgotten memories bring new pain. that are really relics from yesterday.
we created this wasteland. this is where im buried. you dug the grave. i filled it in
Divide By Zero
you fall to dust and leave us all behind. we cannot control. we cannot relieve. you lock the walls to your dream and grow into the poison inside. feeling it burst your veins. letting it rot your mind. here it is only you and your sickness to keep them away. everyday trapped within makes you bleed and fade. clutch onto me, and let me in. alone your blood will drown.
The Descent
i bury myself in this disease and slowly forget who i am, until my reflection fades into a haunting silhouette. and i become this darkness, in love with the frozen embrace, slowly erasing reality until i am trapped in this place. so set this mind ablaze, and watch as my emotions fade away. nothing ends this this pain, but it's so much easier when i'm fake. descending into the black. into the darkness i descend
situation without context. orientations-associations obscured. only constant motion driving us forward. numbing-directionless. no point of origin or destination in sight. only spiraling madness on the horizon. dark enigmas cascading into themselves. paradoxical. dark scenarios transpire. manifestations of past horror. inciting epileptic reflex. tremoring. deja vu translating to violent chaos unending. we've fought against this before, but never won. the truth forever inaccessible, i must create my own reason.
Obsidian Sun
Cascading Down
collapsing obsidian sun. unfathomable destruction. an elegant precursor. the stream comes cascading down. the discontinued bloodline. the last generation. unfulfilled potential. rejection of purpose. final minutes shared in silent company of friends. spent in wistful reverie. the stream comes cascading down. t-plus zero seconds. the true power intimately made real. unrivaled experience. transcending human perception. apathetic universe destroying countless lives. each a blink in the eye of time, the action has no meaning. transcending human perception. the stream comes cascading down
Destroying The Vile Red Falcon
and it fades, your memory of this day, just let life repeat. and never stop to think... but i thought because it means something to me. you always seem to forget, but still it eats away at me. you act without consequence; completing your mission. day by day taking it away, erasing the few human remains. this struggle you never question, you pursue it through to the end. and when you finally finish nothing will be left. the purpose of flesh withers away in the decay of time.
Whisper Perfect Lies
another morning. another regret. awake in this life stained in the vile stench. racing on this path towards redemption and death. blinded by the light at the end. searching for a way to ease this hate. needing this beauty to show me the way. connected to this, forcing to break away. holding your touch, caressing your soft face. feeling this bliss you leave me with inside. feeling this warmth -feeling this lie. carve out a smile. leave it in these eyes. feel this warmth. live this lie. tear out this heart. rip at this bliss. scarred deep within. needing a way to fix this . cut me open. sew me shut. whisper perfect lies into these ears. needing this world, real or fake. to suffocate this life of fear. cut open this shell. erase everything inside. sew up these wounds with perfect lies

TEAR MY EYES OUT... (2003)
My Eyes Are Open
the world you pulled over my eyes
finally revealed
released from my illusion
that you could actually be
You never let me breathe
smothered in the fake
that you made seem true
my weakness is your strength
leaving me in shit
kicking in my teeth
finally escaping illusion
enclosed inside your words
i can't decide alone
you strive for our destruction
but to you its perfection
created for my improvement
but left unwilling to let go
rebuilt, individualized
but still conformed to you
fighting to get freedom
destroying to create the obsolete
my only escape is death
force-fed emotion
not grief not sorrow not fake
sour and pungent
tear stained face
hate is forgotten
useless shit falls away
above it all
fuck fate
emotion--dissolves--hatred returns--too weak to resolve
power too strong
forced to let go
cannot contain
lies of content
anguish is mine
never set free
endless pain
destroys me
too exhausted to be awake
too full of life to sleep
full of questions
about the horror which tomorrow brings
about the love i wont let myself feel
turning and rolling, tremble and cough
i can't stay still
but moving keeps me awake
craving the sedation
that only sleep can bring
searching for a fix i can't find
my eyes shut tight
thinking the darkness can caress me into sleep
it is never dark enough
i hold my breathe
hoping for the release that only being unconscious can bring
but i never have the strength
hours of anguish
lead to a second of bliss
which will leave me in a world that has only pain for me
tear my eyes out
every time they open i awake in a more painful reality
white washed bleeding sky
breathing vision slowly dies
enclosed a capsule
no mind no desire
a violent revolution
a poisoned awakening
choking cold
five deaths
kill temptation
worlds wasted on yesterdays tears
guided on tragedy
stale breath
no promises
to keep
enclosed a capsule
no mind no desire
a violent revolution
a poisoned awakening
tonight the air is grey with death
the end is all I hear
remaining a dying echo
blinded cold and fading
white washed bleeding sky
breathing vision slowly dies
Failed Existence
fallen into hell
contained in my failed existence
apathy has control
there is no hope
no shelter
from endless failure
i cannot care
i cannot win
my shell
my shell of disbelief
shattered are all my dreams
in agony
yet i feel nothing
being numb
is the greatest pain
piercing eyes of truth stare through my lies
i protect that which i hate
justice vanished for my suffering
ive become the cause of my pain
no release from ignorance
no escape from the end
cannot hide weakness
perseverance erased
my last step into total darkness
is my first step into blinding light
Consumed In Nothing
I'm empty and cold as I realize nothings real
falling into the abyss of fake
dying inside rotting beneath
unable to persevere
consumed by nothingness
drowning in my filth
craving the embrace
suffocate in tears
tear away all that mattered
dissolving uselessness
erasing who I am
destroying what I've built
I strive so hard to reach perfection
Yet I please no one
My trials are useless
I'm left weak
Dropping, falling, losing, lost, I never will win
Trapped in myself, with no illusion, to block out the horror within
fear of the future, of the unknown, leaves me alone with my hate
Knowing I'll never have what I need leaves me with nothing but pain
Silence (These Lies, These Truths)
in her silence i hear no redemption
in her silence i hear no truth
why can't i see the truth to save myself
no... i know she lies
wordless but still i can hear
her lips have yet to move
two voices tear at me
these lies, these truths
need to escape in dream
to this world where i am god
my fears no longer drains
fear no longer crucifies
silence is my peace
silence is my pain
my peace is hidden lies
lying empty my fears consume my mind
here i am god (crucified)
why this pain destroys... destroys
her mouth sewn shut
destroying painful truths
with her i'm in pain
without her i'm blind
Illusion Of Life
endless filth
covering every inch of poisoned earth
no way to escape
the endless bile piling up at the back of my throat
no purity it's an illusion that never was
their shit stained face leaves me quenching end
wretched vile nothings are still more than me
fuck life it is nothing
no reason to strive for an existence i cant achieve
no new thought just plagiarism of life
everything of worth is forgotten tomorrow
fuck everything that god calls life
my life is shit that god will flush away when he finishes
i affect nothing not even myself
Alone In The End
Every word, exactly what I need.
horrible truths erased
quiet whispers spin me in perfection
where nothing can be wrong.
her body shudders in ecstasy as I caress her flesh.
The sound of her breathing hypnotizes me
soothing me into a deeper state of bliss.
Everything that escapes her lips is exactly what I need to hear.
She says I'm perfect, I'm beautiful, smart, so pure.
Every word contradicts my thoughts.
The voice inside me escapes
Maybe she just knew what to say
To dissolve all of my pain
Being with her is everything
I love her-she makes me love me.
I'm not alone
I'm left alone

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